Johannesburg's BEST-KEPT Secret? This Paulshof Guesthouse Will Blow You Away!
Holy Smokes, You Won't BELIEVE This Place (Paulshof Guesthouse Review!)
Okay, so I'm just gonna say it: I'm a travel writer. I've seen hotels. A LOT of hotels. From dingy hostels where you pray you don't catch something to ridiculously fancy five-star places that feel more like museums than places to chill. And this… this Paulshof Guesthouse in Johannesburg? It's a whole different animal. It's like stumbling upon a secret, a whispered promise of relaxation and – honestly – I was blown away. Seriously.
(Before we get started, this is NOT sponsored. I paid my own darn money. And I'm telling you, it's worth every single Rand!)
Accessibility – The "Oh, THANK GOODNESS" Factor:
Listen. Life's hectic. Travel shouldn't be. The Paulshof gets this. The website specifically mentions facilities for disabled guests. Yes, there's an elevator. Because stairs? No thanks! I didn't personally need these features, but just knowing they're there is a huge relief. This place is built for everyone, not just the perfectly able-bodied. That's a massive win in my book.
On-Site Dining & Lounging – Food, Glorious Food (and Drinks!):
Alright, let's talk eats and drinks. Because, let's be real, that's a HUGE part of the travel experience. They have a proper restaurant – not just some sad room service menu. I'm talking A la carte in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet] (yes!), and a Coffee shop. I’m a sucker for a good coffee shop. They had a Poolside bar, which is pretty much mandatory in South Africa, right? And the best part? I swear I saw someone having a Happy hour! My kind of place.
- Rant Alert! I'm not a "buffet person." I find them stressful. But this buffet? Organized, clean, and the food… well, let's just say I went back for seconds (and thirds!). They had a Western breakfast, which is my jam but, for those feeling adventurous, there was also an Asian breakfast and a smattering of Asian cuisine in restaurant. And if my memory serves me correctly there was a Vegetarian restaurant and Desserts in restaurant, but I was too busy stuffing my face to remember properly.
Wheelchair Access (and the Level of Detail I Love):
Again, a big thumbs up. They clearly understand wheelchair accessibility, which gives me hope for humanity.
Internet Access – Because, You Know, We’re All Addicted:
Free Wi-Fi in ALL rooms! Praise the internet gods! No more fighting for bandwidth in the lobby. Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services - they've got you covered. I mean, you’re here to relax, but let's be real, you need to check your emails, post some Insta pics, and maybe even video call your mom (who, let’s face it, is probably worried you’re eating too much biltong). Plus the Wi-Fi in public areas was strong as well.
Things To Do & Ways to Relax – A Spa Day Every Day? (Almost!)
Okay, I’m going to be honest. I basically spent half my trip in the Spa. And I’m not even ashamed. They have a Spa/sauna, my personal heaven. Let me tell you, that Sauna was pure bliss after a long day of… well, doing nothing. I also highly recommend the Body scrub and Massage. Trust me on this one. My shoulders were singing from the amount of tension that was released. There's also a Steamroom and a Swimming pool [outdoor] with a view. I mean, the views are South African gorgeous, but the pool with view is what I was really looking forward to.
- Confession Time: I skipped the Fitness center. I'm on vacation, people! But if you are into that kind of thing, it's there. And they have a Foot bath! Seriously, who offers foot baths anymore? Paulshof, that's who. Legend.
Cleanliness & Safety – Feeling Safe & Sound:
This is where Paulshof really shines. They are on top of it! From the moment you walk in, you feel safe. The Anti-viral cleaning products and Daily disinfection in common areas are reassuring, especially after the past few crazy years. They are using Professional-grade sanitizing services. I even saw them washing glasses with what looked like proper Sterilizing equipment!. They also offer Room sanitization opt-out available, which is cool giving you the option. There’s Staff trained in safety protocol, Hand sanitizer everywhere, and they offer Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They also have CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property just in case. Also, Doctor/nurse on call – just in case. Oh, and Smoke alarms, Fire extinguisher, so yeah…you’ll be fine.. Probably the safest I’ve felt in a hotel, ever.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Fueling the Good Times:
We've covered the restaurant, but let me reiterate the awesomeness. They have Coffee/tea in restaurant, which is essential. They even provide Bottle of water. My room service experience was awesome. I’m talking about Room service [24-hour] available. I got the most fantastic Soup in restaurant at like 2am! There's also a Snack bar if you get the munchies. I’d highly recommend doing that!
Services and Conveniences – Making Life Easier:
Okay, this place is seriously spoiling you. They offer Air conditioning in public area, which is crucial in Johannesburg’s heat. Then there’s Business facilities, a Concierge (who was super helpful with recommendations), and they actually take Cashless payment service, so your bank account doesn’t get ripped to shreds with fees. Plus, Daily housekeeping (thank you, sweet angels!) and even Dry cleaning and Laundry service. Food delivery is available too. The ultimate in convenience.
(And the little things!) They provided Essential condiments, which is great for tea lovers as they do have Complimentary tea.
For the Kids – Family-Friendly Fun:
This isn't just for couples and solo travelers. Family/child friendly is definitely a thing here.
Access – Getting In & Out:
Airport transfer is a godsend after a long flight. Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site] parking is just amazing.
Available in All Rooms – The Essentials (and Then Some):
Where to begin? Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Coffee/tea maker, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
Additional Stuff!
This place actually has Couple's room which I haven’t see in a while. The most important thing is it does have Non-smoking rooms which is great!
The "Messy" Bits (Because, Let’s Be Real):
- Okay, I might have slightly over-indulged in the dessert menu. But the Desserts in restaurant, were just that good, okay?
- They have On-site event hosting – I definitely want to host my next birthday here.
- I'm still dreaming about that Poolside bar – I was literally there everyday.
My Honest Verdict – This is a NO-BRAINER.
Look, this isn't just a hotel. It's an experience. It's a sanctuary. It's a place where you can actually relax, recharge, and maybe even forget, for a little while, that the world outside exists. Honestly, I almost didn’t want to write this review because I wanted to keep this place a secret all to myself! But the world needs to know about this hidden gem.
So, here's my recommendation:
Book NOW! Johannesburg's BEST-KEPT Secret is waiting. Don't miss out!
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly polished travel brochure. This is the REAL DEAL, the messy, amazing, slightly-chaotic account of my attempted escape to the Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Park via the Paulshof Guesthouse - Hluhluwe Road Complex in Johannesburg. Prepare for the feels, the ridiculous, and the inevitable coffee-stained itinerary.
Pre-Trip Meltdown & Pre-Departure Ramblings (aka, the "Why Did I Think This Was a Good Idea?"):
Day -3 (The Pre-Trip Frenzy): Okay, let's be honest. I booked this MONTHS ago, fueled by a potent mix of wanderlust and a screaming need to just get away. Now? Now I'm staring at a mountain of laundry, a fridge populated by sentient mold cultures, and a to-do list that could defeat a squadron of professional assassins.
- Problem #1: Packing. Or, the Art of the Overstuffed Suitcase. Found the perfect safari vest! It doesn't even fit. Dammit. Realized my "lightweight" hiking boots are heavier than a small child. And the mosquito repellent smells like a chemical warfare experiment.
- Problem #2: The Google Maps Black Hole. "Hluhluwe Road" in Johannesburg? Seriously? Am I completely sure this isn't some cruel prank? Spent a solid hour circling the block on Google Street View, trying to pinpoint the guesthouse. My brain started to itch. I fear it has eaten my sense of direction
- Emotional State: Utterly manic. Part of me is giddy with anticipation, the other is convinced I'm about to be eaten by a lion, or, even worse, get lost in a South African suburban labyrinth forever!
Day -1 (The Panic Phase): Flight confirmation? Check. Car rental? Check. Valid passport? …Oh. My. God. WHERE'S MY PASSPORT?! Found it, triumphantly, in a dusty drawer next to a half-eaten bag of chips. Crisis averted. But the stress? Still real.
- Problem #3: The "What If?" Scenario. I spent the night envisioning every possible travel catastrophe. Lost luggage, missed flights, rogue monkeys stealing my camera… and that's before I even get to the lions.
- Emotional State: A fragile blend of optimism and outright terror. I'm pretty sure I'm functioning on pure adrenaline at this point.
Day 0: The Journey Begins (aka, the "I'm Actually Doing This!?!")
Morning: Bleary-eyed, still half-convinced I'm dreaming. Uber to the airport. Uber driver chatters endlessly, I can't understand a word, but I nod and smile.
- Flight Experience (Johannesburg to some place): The pre-flight coffee hit. The inevitable airplane peanuts. That one guy snoring loudly two rows back. The endless legroom-less flight
- Emotional State: Settling into the groove, ready to explore.
Afternoon: Arrival in Johannesburg - the airport feels more modern than I would have expected. Found the car rental. A tiny, suspiciously dented "compact." The rental agent says it's perfect for the "roads." "Roads" in this context, I now understand with a sinking heart, means "potential off-road adventures."
- Driving to Paulshof Guesthouse: The GPS is my new best friend (and sometimes my enemy). Traffic is… intense. The signs are confusing, and I managed to take a wrong turn and end up in, um, a very vibrant part of town. Let's just say I'm grateful for tinted windows.
- Anecdote: Almost hit a chicken. A HUGE chicken. Seriously, if you're reading this, and you live in Johannesburg, watch out for the chickens. They are bold.
- Emotional State: Slightly bewildered, and a little bit terrified. But also, strangely… thrilled.
Evening: Finally! Arrived at the Paulshof Guesthouse. The outside looks promising – pretty garden, secure gates. Check-in was a breeze. The owner, a lovely older woman named Belinda (I think, my memory is already shot), was full of warmth and local tips. She welcomed me with a cup of tea as I got all the information and instructions.
- The Room: Honestly… cozy. A bit dated, maybe? But clean, with a view of the garden. There's a peculiar smell of eucalyptus. I love it. It reminds me of childhood.
- Dinner (or, the Struggle for Sustenance): Belinda directed me to a local restaurant, I tried to navigate the menu - a lot of unfamiliar food. Ordered something that sounded like "spicy meat stew." Turns out, it was VERY spicy. My mouth is still on fire. But the local beer? Amazing.
- Emotional State: Exhausted, but happy. The terror has subsided… a little. The eucalyptus is working its magic.
Day 1: Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Dreams (aka, the "Wildlife Or Bust!")
Early morning: The "wake-up call." The birds, the birds, the birds! A cacophony of cheerful chirping that's both beautiful and deeply irritating. I feel like I'm being serenaded by a feathered orchestra I never asked for. But on the other hand, nothing beats the joy of waking up to experience a new world. Belinda's cooked a delicious breakfast.
- Driving to Hluhluwe Park: Ugh, the drive. The only thing that made it more bearable was the beauty of the landscape. The endless green rolling hills. Stopped at what seemed like a decent gas station to refuel. Purchased the park ticket that included the map of the Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Park… only to realize I left the map in the car. Fantastic.
- Emotional State: I'm getting used to it - the sense of adventure, the mistakes, the feeling of just being human.
- Park Entry: This is what I came for, the park. It felt like an immediate change to experience the animals. The anticipation was exhilarating!
- First Glimpses: Elephants! Majestic, lumbering, absolutely massive elephants. Saw a rhino. So close. Seriously, I had to fight the urge to reach out and pet it (I didn't, obviously). Giraffes munching on treetops. Zebras looking, well, zebra-y. This is REAL.
- Quirky Observation: The baboons. They're everywhere. And they're judging you. I'm pretty sure one stole my sandwich.
- Anecdote: Stopped to take photos and the car had an issue. The engine started to make strange sounds - definitely not an experience I was ready for. Now stranded in the middle of a national park… Great start!
- The Wildlife Overload (It's ALL I'm Doing Now) The day got more interesting with the rescue and the experiences - and the views just kept stunning me. Amazing!
Afternoon:
- The return: After the adventure in the park, I took a deep breath and started the trip back
- Dinner: Back at the Guesthouse. Belinda cooked a tasty steak dinner. I enjoyed the meal, and I learned from her, and from other guests and the locals I encountered at the park.
- Emotional State: Exhausted, exhilarated, utterly and completely in love with South Africa.
Day 2 and Beyond (The "What Happens Next?"):
- (Tentative Plan): More wildlife! Maybe a guided game drive. Explore some local villages. Definitely find that baboon and reclaim my sandwich.
- (Likely Outcome): More wrong turns. More near-death chicken encounters. More moments of sheer, unadulterated beauty. And a whole lot more stories to tell.
- Emotional State: Still running on adrenaline, fuelled by coffee and the overwhelming feeling that I'm actually doing this.
Important Notes:
- This itinerary is subject to change. (Dramatic understatement.)
- My sense of direction is questionable. Don't rely on my descriptions of how to get anywhere.
- I am prone to dramatic overreactions. Please take everything with a grain of salt (and maybe some malaria medication).
- But most importantly: This trip is about the experience. The good, the bad, the slightly-borderline disastrous. And so far? It's been unbelievably, gloriously, messy and amazing.
Stay tuned, friends. The adventure continues…
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Johannesburg's Best-Kept Secret (That's About to Be Blown Wide Open!): Paulshof Guesthouse - The Messy, Honest, and Utterly Human FAQs
Okay, spill the tea! Why is Paulshof Guesthouse so amazing and, more importantly, why is it a "secret"? Seriously though, where is it even?
Alright, alright, settle down, buttercups. Paulshof Guesthouse... it's basically a little oasis of sanity (mostly!) tucked away in the heart of... well, Paulshof. Which, if you don't know Jozi, is a leafy, deceptively quiet suburb. Honestly, I stumbled upon it by accident. Tinder date gone wrong, needed a *very* last-minute escape (long story, involving a questionable karaoke performance and a ferret... don’t ask). It’s *not* super easy to find if you're just driving around. Google Maps is your friend. But that's part of the charm, right? It's hidden enough that you feel like you've discovered some secret, lovely little hideaway. My first impression? "Whoa, this is... actually really nice." Much better than karaoke with a ferret... trust me.
What's the *vibe* like? Is it all stiff upper lips and doilies, or is it the kind of place you can actually relax? (Asking for a friend... who's me.)
Relax is the operative word. Forget the doilies! Okay, maybe there's *one* somewhere, but it's probably hiding a strategically placed coffee stain from a previous guest. The vibe is... comfortable. Think charming, slightly mismatched furniture (in a good way), friendly faces (the owner is a gem!), and a general air of "come as you are, darling." I once showed up looking like I'd lost a fight with a washing machine (seriously, that Tinder date was a *disaster*), and they didn't bat an eyelid. They just gave me a cup of *real* coffee and pointed me towards the garden. Which, by the way, is gorgeous. Birdsong, sunshine... total zen. Just… don't expect perfectly manicured lawns. There's a bit of "lived-in" charm. Like, you're welcome to kick off your shoes and stay awhile. Or, stay all day, no one will judge, and maybe you will stay forever!
The rooms! Are they clean? Are the beds comfy? Because let's be real, nothing ruins a good stay like a lumpy mattress. I’m talking about my most vulnerable needs here.
Okay, bed situation: absolutely crucial. I'm a princess when it comes to beds. And the beds at Paulshof? Glorious. Properly comfy. Like, sink-in-and-never-leave levels of comfort. Cleanliness? Spotless. And I'm fussy. Like, bring-my-own-sanitizing-wipes-and-judge-everything-in-sight fussy. But nope. No dust bunnies, no questionable stains, just… clean, fresh sheets and a blissful night's sleep. The bathrooms are great too. I remember one time the water of the shower was slightly hotter than usual, and I thought that might be one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I love the little details, like quality toiletries and fluffy towels. It's the little things, people!
Breakfast? Tell me about the breakfast! I am a food enthusiast. Feed me.
Listen, the breakfast? Worth the price of admission alone. Seriously. This is not your sad continental breakfast with stale croissants. They've got the whole shebang. Full English? Check. Fresh fruit? Stacks of it. Yogurt, granola, you name it. And the coffee... Oh, the coffee. Proper, strong, delicious coffee. Actually, I might have just had withdrawals thinking about it. They also make these amazing omelets, so fluffy and perfectly cooked. I remember one time I was *really* hungover, (Tinder date again... I’m sensing a theme here) and they made me the most perfect, greasy (in a good way) omelet I had ever eaten. It was a lifesaver. Let’s just say, you will *not* leave hungry. In fact, you might need a nap *immediately* after. Highly recommended.
Any downsides? There has to be *something*...
Okay, I’m being honest. There are a few *minor* things. The Wi-Fi can be a little spotty in some rooms. Which, honestly, is a good thing if you ask me. Force you to unplug, you know? Also, parking can be a *tiny* bit tight if it's busy. And occasionally, you can hear the faint rumble of the highway in the distance. But overall, the pros *far* outweigh the cons. Honestly, I'm struggling to find something truly negative to say. Maybe... maybe they don't have a fancy gym on site? But who needs a gym when you have a lovely garden to lounge in? The worst thing I can say is that it's so good, you might not *want* to leave. And that's not really a downside, is it? More like a delightful prison.
Okay, look. I'm a bit of a control freak/planner. Tell me how to *book* this place. And how likely am I to get a room?
Right, control freaks, listen up! Booking is pretty straightforward. Check their website. I won’t link it here, because that would be too much… but look it up. Booking.com or Booking24.com might also have it. Don’t be a fool and book weeks in advance. Maybe give them a call, see if you can snag a specific room, I love some of them. The bigger ones go fast, of course, so try to get in there. They also do amazing deals during the week. Good luck! And tell them *nothing* of how you found out about it. I like to keep it secret…
Would you go back? Would you *recommend* it to others? (You know, other than me because, well, I already know.)
Absolutely. Without a shadow of a doubt. I've been back, like, a dozen times. And I’ve recommended it to a few select, *very* deserving friends. (No, I'm not sharing my secrets with just *anyone*!). Honestly, it's just a lovely, comfortable, and well-run guesthouse. It’s the kind of place where you can genuinely relax and feel at home. And trust me, after the year I've had… with the dating and the karaoke… I need a place to de-stress. Paulshof Guesthouse, for me at least, is the best place to do that. So yeah. Go. But don'Budget Hotel Guru
