Somerville House: Crewe's Chicest Escape (YourStays)
My Brain Dump on Somerville House: Crewe's Chicest Escape (YourStays) - Prepare for a Rollercoaster!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just devoured the information on Somerville House, that "Chicest Escape" they're selling. And let me tell you, after wading through all that… stuff, I have opinions. And trust me, they're probably more interesting than the carefully curated marketing fluff. This is gonna be less "review" and more… well, you'll see.
Accessibility: The Good, the Okay, and the… "We'll See"
Alright, let's rip the band-aid off first. Wheelchair accessible: They SAY it, but I need DETAILS. "Facilities for disabled guests" is vague. Give me concrete examples! Are the rooms truly accessible? Wide doorways? Roll-in showers? The devil is in the details, YourStays. Tell me more about the accessibility to the On-site accessible restaurants / lounges. Are there ramps? Are the tables spaced appropriately? Again, specificity is KEY. And for god's sake, tell me exactly what the Elevator situation is. Old creakers? Brand new slickness? I NEED TO KNOW.
Internet: The Eternal Struggle for Wi-Fi
Okay, this is IMPORTANT. I need good internet. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – YES! Praise the Wi-Fi gods! But… is it actually good? Is it fast? Because if it’s dial-up speed masquerading as Wi-Fi, I will be unhappy. And even if the rooms have great Wi-Fi, what about the Wi-Fi in public areas? Crucial for those of us who enjoy discreetly stalking exes from the lobby. Internet services, Internet, Internet [LAN] – fine, whatever, options are good. But don’t make me hunt for a dusty Ethernet cable in 2024. Just… no.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: A Spa Day… and the Weight of Expectations!
Right, the good stuff. They've got a Fitness center! Score! I can work off all the delicious things I'm inevitably going to eat. Gym/fitness – same thing. Pool with view – sounds AMAZING. I'm a sucker for a good view, even if it’s just a slightly less depressing view of Crewe. (No offense, Crewe, I'm sure you're lovely.)
Now, the piece de resistance: the Spa. Okay, here’s where I get really excited, and then instantly skeptical. They list a Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool… OH. MY. GOODNESS. It sounds like a freakin' paradise.
But here's the thing. I’ve been burned before. Spas that promise bliss and deliver… well, let’s just say they deliver disappointment. I had this one experience – it was supposed to be the "ultimate relaxation package." I imagined myself draped in fluffy robes, sipping herbal tea, drifting off in a cloud of lavender. The reality? A rock-hard bed, a masseuse who seemed to be practicing for a demolition derby, and a steam room that smelled vaguely of mildew. Utter. Disaster.
So, Somerville House, don’t get my hopes up! Show me the actual spa experience. Are the robes actually fluffy? Is the tea delicious? Most importantly, are the massages, you know, good? Because if you're going to sell me on a Spa, you better deliver on the promise of utter, blissful relaxation. Because I need that.
Alright, let's imagine the perfect spa day. I'm picturing myself in that pool with a view - sipping a cocktail, maybe (poolside bar, YES!), before heading in for a scrub, wrap, massage. I'm already feeling less stressed typing about it. After the massage, straight into the Sauna or Steamroom, easing out all the tension, and then… (deep breath)…. ahhhhh. See? Just thinking about it is good!
Cleanliness and Safety: Because, You Know, Life is Messy.
Phew. We need a palate cleanser after that Spa daydream. Cleanliness and safety. Okay, this is crucial. And after the last few years? Absolutely non-negotiable. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment… this is all reassuring, and definitely needed. It makes me feel slightly less like I'm entering a biohazard zone. Hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere? Excellent. Doctor/nurse on call? Smart. Safety deposit boxes? Check. Fire extinguisher and smoke alarms? Please.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: My Stomach is RUMBLING…
Okay, food! This is where things can really go right… or spectacularly wrong. They have quite a few options, which I like. Restaurants, Bar, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Snack bar. Good start! A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant. Okay, this is… a lot. Too many options! My brain hurts.
I'm particularly intrigued by the Asian breakfast and Asian cuisine in restaurant. Does that mean I can get some authentic, delicious food? Or is it that tired, watered-down version we've all endured? I need MORE INFO.
And the Happy hour? Crucial. Absolutely CRUCIAL. Because, let's be honest, sometimes you just need a cheap cocktail after a long day of… whatever it is you do.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter (and the Ones That Don't)
Okay, let's speed through this. Concierge: Useful. Daily housekeeping: Essential. Laundry service: Thank GOD. Luggage storage: Handy. Dry cleaning: Always good, even if you mostly live in jeans.
For the Kids: Bless Their Little Hearts (and Their Parents’ Sanity)
Babysitting service? Family/child friendly? Kids facilities? Kids meal? Okay, I’m not a parent, but I appreciate that they're catering to families. Anything that keeps the little terrors happy (and quiet) is a win in my book.
Available in all rooms: Okay, standard stuff is important.
Getting Around: I appreciate the Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Taxi service, Valet parking.
The Core Essentials: Room by Room
- Air conditioning – Yes, please.
- Alarm clock- Okay, yes.
- Bathrobes- Essential for a spa.
- Bathtub – Always a perk for soaking.
- Blackout curtains – YES! My sleep is important.
- Coffee/tea maker – Crucial for morning survival.
- Daily housekeeping – See above.
- Desk – For pretending to work.
- Extra long bed – Yes, I like my space.
- Free bottled water – A nice touch.
- Hair dryer – Saves me from looking like a drowned rat.
- In-room safe box – Important.
- Internet access – wireless – See above.
- Ironing facilities – For making you look like you've got it all together.
- Non-smoking – A must.
Other Stuff:
- 24-hour front desk? - Good.
- Safety/security features. - Always necessary.
- Non-smoking rooms – excellent!
SEO Keywords: (Because, you know, the algorithm)
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My Verdict (and the Hard Sell):
Okay, here’s the deal. Somerville House sounds promising. The spa? The pool? The free Wi-Fi? These are all HUGE plusses. However, I need more details on the accessibility and the quality of the food. The spa needs to deliver!
**Here's my offer. If you are looking for a romantic getaway, a relaxing spa retreat, or simply a getaway, then Book Somerville House today! I do not want you
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your grandma's itinerary. This is my Somerville House adventure, courtesy of YourStays in Crewe, UK. Prepare for chaos, because, let's be honest, that's how I roll.
The Mostly Planned Mayhem: Week at Somerville House (Crewe!)
Day 1: Arrival & "Oh God, I Forgot the…!"
Morning (ish) - The Great Train Heist (aka: Getting Here): Right, so the train. Booked it weeks ago. Thought I'd packed everything. Arrived at Crewe station, the "gateway to Cheshire," and immediately felt a pang of dread. Where is my adapter?! Ugh. Rookie mistake. Ran around like a headless chicken, found a tiny, over-priced charger at WHSmith. Victory! Finally, a taxi to Somerville House, which, frankly, looked even more charming in person than the photos. A little wonky, that lovely entrance is, but that only adds to the charm.
Afternoon - Settling In & Initial Panic Attack: Inside, the place is lovely by some standards. Clean-ish. The couch is… well, let's just say it's seen things. But the big window looks onto the street and it's very pretty. Unpacked, tried to navigate the washing machine (seriously, these things have become rocket science), and then had the first of many mini panic attacks. Suddenly, I'm struck with a ferocious craving for cheddar and digestives. Obviously, I had not packed those either.
Evening - The Crewe Food Adventure Begins (and the Search for Cheese): Found a grocery store (finally!). The choices! Went for the cheddar (obviously) and some rather intriguing biscuits. Then, a recommendation from YourStays lead me to a local pub, "The [Insert Pub Name Here]" (I'll be honest, I've already forgotten the name, but the beer was fantastic, and the locals were chatty). Did I mention I was tired? Ordered a full English. Regretted it immediately due to its immense size and the prospect of having to leave my warm and cozy bed to move to the next event.
Day 2: Crewe, Crewe, Everywhere! (and a History Fix)
Morning - Railway Madness (and a Near Miss): Off to the Crewe Heritage Centre! (yes, against my better judgement). I am not a train person. But it turns out, this place is actually quite alright! Seeing those gigantic locomotives up close is… kind of impressive. Maybe I'm developing a new hobby? I was almost run over by a toy train. Thankfully, I moved just in time!
Afternoon - A Bit of Art and a Whole Lot of Coffee: Stumbled upon a cute coffee shop! Had an amazing latte (that cost a fortune) and spent more time than I would like to divulge watching other people. I needed that. Went to a local art gallery, the place was really interesting. I wish I had the same artistic talent.
Day 3: The Cheshire Countryside (and a Moment of Zen…ish)
Morning - A Bus Ride of Doom (or the best of all of them): Ah, Cheshire countryside, here I come! Found a bus that claimed to go to some quaint village. What ensued was an adventure. My seat was terrible. The bus was shaking violently. There were sheep. So many sheep. I'm pretty sure one of them gave me the side-eye.
Afternoon - The Quaint Village & a Mild Existential Crisis: Finally, the village! Charming, yes. But also… quiet. Really, really quiet. Found a tearoom, devoured scones with clotted cream and jam (because, England), then spent an hour by the river, contemplating life, the universe, and why I can't seem to master the art of folding a fitted sheet. It was lovely. Probably good for me.
Day 4: Back to Crewe & A Deep Dive into… something
Morning - Laundry & the Struggle: Laundry day. Always a fun time. The washer at Somerville House is a beast. I had to look at the manual. Multiple times. Felt like I was taking an exam.
Afternoon - Deep Dive into… the Local Pub: Went and grabbed my usual at the local pub. The bartender knows my order (and my life story, because I'm apparently a chatterbox). So, instead of sightseeing, I will stay here. That's a victory.
Day 5: Chester Day Trip! (and the Wall that Won't Move)
Morning - Train to Chester: Today, I am going to Chester! A plan! A plan that is already being challenged by me not having had time to do anything.
Afternoon - Chester Walls and General Flapping: Arrived in Chester! A city overflowing with Tudor architecture. Wandered along the city walls. Got lost. Found them again. Decided to be "cultured." I will become more interested in architecture.
Evening - Dinner and a Bad Decision: Found a pub. Had an amazing burger. Had more beer than I should. Spent the rest of the evening struggling to remember how to get back to Crewe and my "home."
Day 6: The Rest Day
Morning - Sleep: Slept. A very, very long time. No one woke me up.
Afternoon - Binge Watch and Regret: Binge-watched a show on Netflix. Felt a little guilty. Ate more cheddar. Ordered a pizza. Felt incredible.
Evening - Packing (sort of): Tried to pack. Failed. The concept of packing is completely lost on me. Will just have to deal with it on the morning of departure.
Day 7: Departure & the Post-Trip Blues
Morning - The Great Escape (and Hopefully No Lost Baggage): Wake up. Scramble to pack. Realize I've left my favorite book, phone charger, and several socks behind. "Oh well" I'll be going back. But I will remember this trip.
Afternoon - Train Ride of Reflection (and Cheese Withdrawal): Goodbye Crewe! I'm sure I'll be back, someday.
Evening - Home, and the Sweet Despair of "Back to Normal" (and Cheese Consumption): Back home. Unpacked (eventually). Already planning my next escape.
Final Thoughts: Crewe? It's… an experience. Somerville House? A perfectly nice place to crash, with a few personality defects. The locals? Brilliant. The train system? Well, let's just say it kept me on my toes. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Because, honestly, life's too short for boring itineraries. And besides, I still need more cheese.
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Somerville House: Crewe's Chicest Escape? ...Maybe. (YourStays) - My Two Cents (And a Few Other People's)
Right, so... what *is* Somerville House, exactly? And is it worth it? (Be honest!)
Anecdote Time: My first visit? I arrived expecting a butler. What I got was a keypad lock (which I somehow fat-fingered five times before I got it right, mortifyingly!). And the heating? Well, let's just say I ended up huddled under a duvet with a hot water bottle, feeling like a Victorian ghost myself. But honestly? I kinda loved it. It was just...real.
What are the *actual* rooms like? I need details!
The Bedrooms: Expect plush bedding, yes. But also, expect the occasional sloping floor or a slightly wonky window. They're old houses, people! Charm comes with imperfections. They all feel different, so if you go multiple times like I do, then it's something fresh.
The Bathrooms: Oh, the bathrooms. They're generally pretty swanky, with big tubs and decent showers. The water pressure can vary, so bring some patience (and maybe a spare towel). Some rooms have standalone tubs, and I'm all in for it. However, I've had a couple of showers that felt more like a drizzle! (Can you tell I'm obsessed with a good shower?)
The "Common Areas": I've only really used the kitchen area once. I had to ask for help turning the microwave on, which was embarrassing. But everything was sparkly clean, and the staff were, in fact, pretty great overall!
My Emotional Reaction: Overall, each room has been a little bit different. One time I went with friends. At first, we were like "Oh, this place has it's problems" over and over. By the end of it, we were all laughing. I'm still in touch with those friends now. Good memories.
What about breakfast and other amenities? Spill the tea!
More amenities? You'll find basic toiletries, a hairdryer (hallelujah!), and usually, some kind of welcome treats. Again, it varies. One time they had locally made fudge, and I almost *died*. Another time, there was a sad-looking packet of biscuits. See what I mean about the "it depends"? Just remember to bring your own fancy coffee and maybe some snacks. You can't rely on perfection!
Quirky Observation: They usually have a nice little seating area to chill out in. One time I sat there for hours, chatting with another guest. We became buddies!
Is the location actually good? Is it near anything?
The Good: It's usually a reasonable distance from the train station (important, right?). There is a local pub nearby. There are a few good shops and restaurants.
The Not-So-Good: Crewe is, let's be honest, not exactly a bustling metropolis. But that is a huge part of the charm! Don't go expecting the bright lights of London. This is the North West, baby!
My Opinion: The location is fine! Quiet for the most part. But it's not the *reason* you go to Somerville House. You go for the quirky charm, the escape, and the *potential* for a proper relaxing weekend.
What about the staff? Are they helpful? (And are they actually *there*?)
Anecdote Time: The Great Key Fiasco: One time, the key code wasn't working. And of course, my phone had died. I was stranded in the rain, lugging a suitcase, and contemplating my life choices, while waiting for the staff to sort it out. Luckily, they were eventually responsive, and it was all sorted out (eventually). But it's a good reminder: pack a charger and a healthy dose of patience!
Emotional Reaction: Overall, the staff are lovely when you can find them! But be prepared for a bit of a self-sufficient experience.
Quirky Observation: I have never met the same member of staff twice. Hmm.
So, bottom line... should I book it?
If you're looking for a slightly quirky, charming, and mostly lovely stay? And you don't mind a few imperfections? And if you're open to the possibility of a truly memorable experience? YES. Absolutely yes.
My Opinion: I've had some amazing times at Somerville House. It's the sort of place where you can actually *relax*, get away from the hustle and bustle, and just be... well, yourself. The fact it's got quirks and imperfections is part of what makes it... well, human. Just remember to bring your sense of humor, a good book, and maybe a spare phone charger.Budget Travel Destination
